I got the water bottle at the last show I saw Rachelle in, it's blue and has the LCC logo, and I thought I'd support artists who'd been so incredibly loving to Rachelle. It was also slightly spontaneous...what can I say? I like markers of good days.
And now, although it's still not my favorite water bottle, it's the one I use. This is mainly because I lost my awesome orange one, and I need to drink water. It's summer in Fresno...
But I've had people ask me about it. If I know that the LCC logo looks similar to the Turkish flag, they ask if I did theater... on Thursday, I had to explain where I got it, that it was in support of a friend. The last thing I remember saying was, "She was incredible, so I supported her."
I doubt anyone realized that I said 'was' or that I was referring to someone who is dead. But the sentence, that word stayed in my mouth. Was.
It's getting easier to use the past tense when talking about Rachelle. Not because I've forgotten or am letting her go, but because the memories I have of her are in the past. I don't have any future ones to look forward to just yet.
I hold onto my LCC water bottle, and think of her often. Twirling in that skirt that she didn't want to be wearing in that last musical number, or wearing all that make-up... but hey, she looked cute.
|Friends couldn't resist photo-bombing this moment.|