I missed you a lot today. You always made a big deal of my birthday. You drove 40 minutes to make it to my birthday, made sure I got what I wanted for dinner, and hugged me a lot.
You would have reminded me that they day was about ME.
Reminded me that everyone loved me, that's why they wanted to hang out with me.
You would have wolf-whistled at me so many times that I blushed.
You would have made sure we sang 'happy birthday' at church.
You would have yelled something ridiculous at some point today.
You would have given me that special smile that reminded me that I am super special to you.
I miss you. I miss the way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you always made it on the dance floor with me. You would have been with me ALL day long, from waking up to church to lunch to dinner to cleaning up.
I miss your face. Your voice. Your generosity and care for me. I miss holding your hand. Making faces at you from across the room.
And yet... I am grateful for memories of the day of our baptism. We baptized two little ones at church today, and as I remembered my own baptism... there you were in the memory. Holding my hand as we prayed, smiling at me as we all jumped in the pool after singing a couple songs. Your joy. Oh, your joy on that day.
Sunday, December 1, 2013
On a cold night Rachelle, Sarah and I went to the "Will you B here?" Show at UCLA's Royce Hall. We'd engaged all day with the epidemic of Hepatitis B, and learned how Asian Americans are more prone to contract the disease.
It'd been a hard day, but a great one. Rachelle had often come with me to Latino events, learned more about Mexican culture, and understood my love of everything Native American. That day, I spent learning about something that was incredibly important to her. We'd been through displays, awareness videos... more than anything, I was glad to be spending so much time with her.
We scored tickets to the culmination of the campaign, where lots of Asian American artists brought their talents of dancing, singing, and musicality to the stage. We were delighted by the likes of Joseph Vincent, Clara Chung, Quest Crew, and others. It was a night when I knew I was experiencing something amazing.
At the end of the night, we were walking toward the dorms. I'd mentioned to Rachelle how much I love Hok from Quest Crew... without missing a beat she said, "Then let's wait out here for him!" She had this look in her eye, letting me know we weren't going anywhere until Hok came out. She also knew how much Sarah loved Clara Chung, so it just made sense to stay.
We stayed by the back door of Royce, waiting in the cold, and giggling as we made eye contact with each other. We were really those girls waiting outside the building for these artists we were slightly fond of.
Rachelle asked the security guard if he knew of Quest's whereabouts. He let us know they were packing up their stuff and were making their way out. As soon as Hok made it to the back door Rachelle yells, "HOK TOKONOSHI! MY FRIEND SOL THINKS YOU'RE AMAZING, AND WANTS TO HUG YOU!"
Uhh....thanks, Rachelle! I was embarrassed but still smiling like a fool. It was really Hok! I introduced myself like the starstruck fool I was, and he leaned in and gave me a hug! AAHHH. I then asked if we could take a photo. He graciously accepted.
There's no way around it, I miss this girl. She inspired me to live my dreams, to stay in a strategic location to meet folks I love and am slightly intimidated by. She made a dream come true by being her crazy, stubborn Rachelle self.
And for that, I am grateful.